Chupacabra Canoe

Munitions Master

Level 3 Canoeist

Master Level Pyrotechnics/Munitions

Adventure Badge Achieved

Homebrewing – Novice

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This is the 3rd edition of the (somewhat) weekly blogs I have been compiling in preparation for the upcoming canoe trip. They cover certain aspects of time on the river that are worth addressing. We have had difficulties with the writers union holdout and after a brief, 2 year hiatus – I’m back baby. (I lost negotiations)

During these uncertain times, stuck with just my thoughts of the open river, I have done some reflection on what it means to be a Chup.

The Chups now have roughly 10 years of a rich history, battling the elements in the deserted wilderness of Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Kentucky. But have we gotten soft over the years? I mean when’s the last trip we had someone almost needing a helicopter rescue (albeit for too much Jameson)? Or woken up to canoes washed down river? I miss the risk, the struggle, the surviving on what we had, not knowing if we’d make it out.

I propose getting back to the basics.

We bring less food. Man cannot live on bread alone, but the Irish have never gone wrong depending soley on potatoes for their main source of food. Limiting ourselves to just potatoes saves space packing and forces us to either forage, fish, or hunt for additional nutrition. Additionally, hunger creates an edge which would heighten our awareness and aggressiveness on the river.

Shelter – You gotta build it, to sleep in it. The luxuries of ‘being dry’ and ‘not freezing’ are of years past. How hard is it to build a lean to? Or make a teepee? Do you think Lewis and Clark were stopping at Cabelas for a popup tent before their little treks? No. And to further this, I propose only animal skin blankets – made from either animals raised or roadkill. I watched the first couple minutes of a Youtube video on tanning hides and got bored but still it can’t be that hard.

Water – No more water bottles. We either boil it, or collect it from the rain.

Whistles/LifeJackets/Modern Medicine – In a word, Panzie. Learn to swim, and if you get hurt, rub some dirt on it. If you have a whistle on the next trip- boy oh boy, there will be hazing.

Nightpaddle – We’ve gotten accostumed to nice weather and ‘sunlight’. Lets look to our forefathers like ol George W, crossing the Delaware in the dead of night. We need atleast one night per trip to be from dusk till dawn. Going only by lantern. It’d be cool as heck. And I wouldn’t get sunburn.

The long and short of it is simple, Chupacabra used to be manly – roughing it – guys being dudes. The more primitive, the better. I’m open to more suggestions, are you up for more challenges?

Munitions Masters is a weekly contributor to the Chupacabra Canoe website.