JStroke Recap of the Greenbrier River
The Greenbrier River, a dark chapter in the lore of Chupacabra? Or a testament to how adversity sparks
innovation and reveals character? In another spectacular recap, I will revisit the Spring Trek for
Chupacabra in 2020.
An alternate name for the Greenbrier River is the Onepake, which translated from Lenape means Dark
Path. Looking back on the trip, we could have been on a Dark Path. Would the Greenbrier be a breaking
point like the exodus of Water Boy, Missing Link, et al? Or would the challenge harden the resolve of the
group and become a victory for the Chupacabra to celebrate for generations?
As the Covid-19 fiasco was just getting up to speed, Chupacabra Canoe headed out to West Virginia to
the tributary of the New River, which is only a few miles from neighboring Virginia. Dubbed the “Corona
Virus Tour”, It was our first visit to the Greenbrier and there were a lot of unknowns: water level and
campsites, river nick names for the rookies and would be any kerfuffle with other groups encountered.
The kerfuffle question was settled early as River Puss (aka Rubber Ducky) took the brunt of an early
morning wake up from the bike trail group that was unfortunate enough to set up camp too close to
Chupacabra on “Buckaloons” night. While the early morning wake-up may not have been unwarranted,
they could have been nicer. Can’t we all just get along?
Buckaloons night ended being a little wet, but the usual sharing of cigars, Father’s Day celebrations for
Rockhound and the issuing of the annual t-shirt went off without a hitch. Early morning pre-river
festivities and push off on the first day were dry. Rockhound provided the launch prayer, while I
(JStroke) was brilliantly poetic in the traditional launch kick-off. Munition Master let the river know the
Chupacabra were on the way in traditional fashion. River nicknames also presented themselves early
before launch on day one. There was a slight competition, but Ass-Bag won the day for the newest
individual to join us on a trip. Once on the river, it was not long after the clouds rolled in and the rain
began. The rain just kept coming.
For the rivers we have travelled the past 10 years, the Greenbrier was great. I can’t remember any one
difficult stretch, but the river kept you on your toes. With so many heavy waves in the rapids, keeping
the canoe downstream was vitally important. Many instances of water over the gunwales was
experienced. Most notably by Rubber Ducky and Beef Chowder. I can’t remember ever sitting in canoe
completely full of water. I can still picture Rubber Ducky up front with Beef Chowder in a canoe full of
water and STILL PADDLING! Like a Ducky in a bathtub! Rubber Ducky still claims to not have tipped a
canoe (not that it matters, we all do eventually), but he does have two lost paddles to his
accomplishments, so you tell me what’s better!
Camping was where the Greenbrier tried our will to continue. With the consistent rain, campsites are
key. As I have mentioned in other posts, we need to do better as a group on this. But while most of us
managed, Grumman Master excelled. First river night was spent in an open field near an off-road vehicle
river crossing. Memories of that first site was the amazing number of fireflies in the field; and then it
rained some more. We launched the next day with another delicious round of Bourbon Mary’s courtesy
of Cap’n Canoe.
As we floated the next few days, it became apparent our reliance on outfitter recommendations for
campsites was not what as expected. Campsites near the river were nowhere to be found except on
private property. But the rain was like the honey badger (it didn’t care), it just kept coming. As we
scouted for the famous 2 day campsite, I can remember sitting head-down with Firestick, Munitions
Master, Ass-Bag, Beef Chowder and Rubber-Ducky in canoes anchored to the river back as we watch
each canoe fill up with the downpour. I can still hear Milkman providing some consolation: “It can’t rain
all day!”.
I think it did rain all day. However, out of diversity comes innovation, and we discovered the phenomena
known as Tent City. With the generosity of a private landowner, we established camp. As the rain tarps
came out and were strung by ropes between trees, we banded several together to create a common
area to sit and smoke a cigar, have a much-needed drink, and a nap. It was the birth of Tent City. That
campsite I believe is one of the greatest accomplishments of Chupacabra led by the diplomatic efforts of
our leader Grumman Master.
The next day was a day of rest for us all and the rain gave us a break. Even enough time to go for a swim
in the now fast flowing and cold river. We also were amazed at how high the river rose that night as the
rains made the way from the mountainside to the valley.
Despite the rain, tent city raised everyone’s spirits and we elected our first Mayor of Tent City, Seacow.
Normally belligerent and outspoken on the choice of campsites, he was downright river positive in his
role. Even if it was ceremonial at best. The typical amazing fireside dinners were cooked. Grumman
broke out the rabbit for a change of pace, I made a Tuna and Steak surf and turf, Milkman stayed with
meat and the now famous fire roasted potato (blackened but so soft on the inside), and Cap’n Canoe fed
his dependents Rubber Ducky and Russian Bear. As the night wore on, Beer Canoeist welcomes all to
celebrate with a drink which leads to the inevitable crescendo of Munitions Masters’ voice as it carries
across the normally calm river valley.
As we continued on the river and headed toward our takeout point, the clouds parted and we saw the
sun for the first time in 4 days. It was a time for celebration and warmth in the sun. And in what has
become an annual tradition, Rubber Ducky couldn’t seem to hold on to the most basic of canoe tools
and lost his first paddle!
Thinking back on the entirety of the trip, while the weather was miserable, the river was exciting, and
the character revealed was epic! Another overwhelming success for Chupacabra Canoe! And I think
Munitions Master broke his foot, but I will let him tell that story!
JStroke
Signing off
Chupacabra Canoe 
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